I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize