Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
