everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
