he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
