im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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