don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Two words: nipple clamps
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