i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
