it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize