I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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