Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
