Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
