The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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