I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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