So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
