im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
