if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize