I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
