i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
