I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
