I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
