I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I need to sanitize my soul.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
