just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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