so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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