I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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