then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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