Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
