You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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