the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
