he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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