this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize