Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
