i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize