He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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