I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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