I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
