I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Randomize
