theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
