There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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