i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
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