dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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