u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
