is your mom at the bar?
The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
