we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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