It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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