just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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