But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
