North Korea, Best Korea!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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