Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
