Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
