Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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