God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i think i just lost a toe
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
