Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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