Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
