I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
