Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
this beer tastes like vomit already
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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