lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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