i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
