he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
