You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
