There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i barfeds in our rink
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
