I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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