does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
not ubering you a puppy
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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