areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize