I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
