Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
