Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
wow bdsm is so cute
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