Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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