In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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