Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize