brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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