I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
