So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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